Update

A few months ago I posted about how a local cemetery was now accepting credit cards. Last week, the Visa and MasterCard signs were gone. I guess they decided accepting credit for burial plots was not good for business.

Still not running...

cookies?

I ran last night, just two miles, in my VFFs. Today my leg is sore, but my ankles seem okay. Not great. I didn't go tonight, though I should have.

I think I've replaced my running addiction with a sugar addiction :(

No running for a week

So I went to the doctor this evening to get a referral to a PT for my ankles. I was hoping to get some advice around strengthening them etc. He didn't give me a referral, rather he said stop running. For at least a week, and then "start over." This means my "long run" has to be equivalent to my short run now (about 4). If it doesn't feel better, he will send me for a bone scan to see if there are fractures. I hope I can still be ready for the May 2nd half marathon. I'm not sure I'll get long runs in the next two weekends since I will be out of town.

He also said I shouldn't alternate shoes- either start from scratch with the VFFs or the sneakers. Or maybe my frees? those could be a good compromise.

The good news is that I had the lowest blood pressure of any patient he'd seen all day. It has gone down since I've been running I think. In order not to get too low, however, I think I should eat some nice, salty chips.

Anyone have good ideas for what exercise I could do for the next week?
Anyone have thoughts on which shoes I should use?

Things that are bad for your environment

Driving a humongous SUV. While smoking a cigarette. With the windows closed. On a sunny warm day.

A for effort?

Yesterday I tried to squeeze in a run between work and an event. I even got as far as putting on my clothes and VFFs, but as I trotted down the driveway, I realized my ankles were really sore. I tried to run on some dirt, but that didn't help so I turned around and went home.

Today I put on my Nike Free Playgrounds after work and set out. It was an amazingly beautiful day and Bil was on a walk with Raviv. I had a really nice 4.5 mile run but again, my ankles were sore. Now, sitting on the couch I'm wonder what I'll do tomorrow. I hope to run to my mom's group, which is about 3.5 away, but I may need to give my ankles a rest. I am going to look up some strengthening ideas now. Anyone have ideas?

A few weeks ago (months?) the New York Times published an article about why running does not automatically lead to weight loss. It basically suggests that when we exercise, we are hungrier and eat more, thus negating the benefit of exercise for weight loss (not that there aren't plenty of other reasons to exercise).

This has been the case for me. In fact, I think I might be GAINING weight.Yesterday I went for my weekly long run. I ran nearly 8 miles and felt good the whole way. Plus, my pace is getting quicker (which is how I ended up going nearly 8 instead of the 6-7 I thought I went). But today I woke up with a headache and LOOK OUT KITCHEN! I have eaten everything I can get my hands on. If it isn't toxic, it has been consumed. I'm just now starting to feel more satiated and less physically drained.

Also- I decided that every month I stay on track I will reward myself with new running gear. At the end of January I bought the VFFs. Today we were at the outlets and I went into the Nike store. While I was there I wanted to try on a pair of Nike Frees. These shoes are more structured than the VFFs, but less than a traditional running shoe. They didn't have any in stock, but they did have the boys Nike Free Playground. They are ugly, and may not work for running, but I haven't been able to do long runs in the VFFs (I do wear them for outdoor runs less than 3 miles). I'll try them sometime this week. Luckily they were quite on sale, so even if they don't work out I won't be too upset.

Oops...mommy brain while running

So yesterday I had a great 4 miles at work. Tonight, I decided I would run, even though I didn't want to, so I unpacked my exercise clothes and shoes from my bag from yesterday and put them on (they weren't too gross). Anyway tonight I had the LONGEST 4 miles (I swear the earth must have been spinning slower) on the treadmill,. I watched the new show "parenthood." Seems like junk, so I may not watch again.

After I got off the treadmill, I was stretching a bit and while looking at my feet, I realized I was wearing two different sneakers. Not even the same brand- the left food was a New Balance and the right shoe was Saucony. Oy.

Anyway, at least I'm still on track with training! The race is exactly two months from yesterday!

Bad for business?

Quick post- The other day I went into our local coffee shop, where I was shocked to see the new cashier drinking coffee out of a disposable Dunkin Donuts cup. I suspect this woman will not be on staff for long.

And, I was going to run to our baby group today, and have Bil pick us up, but Raviv and I both took good afternoon naps! So now, I have to run on the treadmill. Belch. Any suggestions for good shows to watch? I've been watching "Modern Family" while I run and love it...

Running during work

I went for a great run today! It was sunny, warm, I wasn't exhausted from a long day (last night I got on the treadmill at 8:50pm, and after 6 minutes had to get off, I was just DONE). I have been more productive (other than writing this post) and focused as well. While running I thought about a project I have and how to approach it.

It was also nice to run by a farm. The smell of animals, manure and grass is gross in August, but as it just begins to melt on a warmish March day it smells like my childhood.

Spicy!

Yesterday I got back on the treadmill. It sucked but I watched two episodes of "modern family" so I was able to go about 4 miles. I realized I HATE running on a treadmill, but living in New England, sometimes running outside is just not an option.

My friend spent all of January blogging about organizing. This month's issue of Oprah magazine is about organizing. I'm not usually an Oprah devotee but there were some useful tips. For example, did you know that after three years you should replace your spices? Who knew! Given that Bil and I still use spices that came in a spice rack given as a wedding gift over FIVE years ago, I figured I should chuck them and check out what else has been taking up long-term residence in the cabinet.

I found spices that explicitly expired four years ago, and others that I think one of us must have had before we met. That means these spices have gone through three moves. Yes, they have lived in at LEAST four different cabinets.

Anyway, I dumped all the expired spices, which upon closer inspection showed signs of age. Such as clingy spidery-web stuff, were crusted solid, or had changed color. After purging we were left with salt and onion powder.

I really like our spice rack, so I took the empty jars and went to our local coop where I refilled them with spices from the bulk section. Some jars I used for different spices. For example, I don't think we've EVER used marjoram, so I bought cloves instead. The whole thing cost about $14.

I feel really good about accomplishing this little task, even though I don't actually USE the spices as I don't cook.

First run in the VFFs

On Sunday I went for my first run in the VFFs! It was really weird. It felt starnge running on pavement, nearly barefoot but having it be okay. I preferred to run on the grass, which did mean that some water got into the shoes, but my feet didn't feel cold

After two miles in the VFFs I stopped at home and swapped shoes to my regular running shoes. I didn't want to hurt my feet too much due to using new muscles etc. While running, my arches felt really engaged in a good way. So I put on my regular sneaks on, and WOAH! It felt like I was running on marshmallows. And not in a good way. But I did the rest of my run (about 4 more miles) and returned home.

The next day- my calves were sore. My arches were fine. I think I should have run in the regular shoes first, but at this point, I might not run in regular shoes ever again.

Anyway, Raviv gave me his cold for his birthday so I'm keeping this post short because my head feels like it will explode. Also- I think this means no running for the next few days.

Now I remember...

The funny thing I saw yesterday was a woman in a LONG fur coat, smoking a cigarette, standing outside of the hospital in Northampton. Major cognitive dissonance.

No activity today, but yoga tomorrow and 5 miles on Sunday! Plus my shoes came and they fit!

Oh, and I served the pie, but didn't eat any. Neither did my guest on weight watchers, but the others said it was good.

Ethical Dilemma (And advice for cross training)

Yesterday we had a "snow-day" which was great. There was almost no snow, but Bil didn't have school and it was my special day off with Raviv. I got to go for a nice run outside. I jinxed myself, however, as yesterday's run felt crappy the whole time. My knee was tweaking a bit so I was glad today is an official rest day. But I need to do 40 minutes of cross training tomorrow. Any suggestions for cross training you can do at home in the winter?

Also- I have an ethical dilemma. We are having company over for dinner tomorrow night, and Bil picked out a desert he wanted me to make while he was at a meeting- a chocolate walnut pie. Let me tell you- knowing what went into the pie, there is no way I would EVER let a bite of it cross my lips (Lets just say that by volume chocolate is the least present of the ingredients, and light corn syrup is one of the highest). Can I still serve this? It kinda goes against almost everything I stand for.

And is it weird to have an organic pie crust, local butter, organic sugar, and free-range, organic eggs and corn syrup (the root of almost all evils in this country. Okay, maybe not quite as bad as HIGH FRUCTOSE corn syrup, but still...) in the same recipe?

I saw something amusing today, but I forgot what it was. So now I don't have a funny story, but it was a good day because Raviv was sent home from daycare sick. When we arrived he was really congested and coughing. But he really wasn't sick (by the time he got home he had cleared up) and I got an extra bonus day with my little guy!

Chronic bad mood

I haven't posted regularly because I am in a chronic bad mood. And I'm busy working on a project for my son's 1st birthday.

I'm really enjoying running at this point. I feel like I have enough of a "base" that I can go out and enjoy the workout without feeling like I'm going to die in the first few minutes. I'm trying to follow the training schedule, however, so that I don't overdo it and get injured.

For some reason, I have been craving fat and sugar for the last four or five days (bread, pastries, etc). I have indulged, but I'm really trying to get a grip on it.

It might be my hormones shifting that is causing these changes (mood, appetite) but I think it is more about the life issues. Things at home are challenging and work isn't fulfilling me. I'm hoping that after next week, which includes two major milestones (Raviv turns one and the anniversary of my mom's death- which I didn't address last year) I come out of my funk a bit.

I do have to say, I have the most gorgeous commute to work. I can't stand it!

AND- TWO days in a row I have seen mail trucks being towed! One was on a flatbed truck and one was a regular tow. (This pic isn't the actual truck I saw, but it serves the purpose).

Also- Last night I had a dream Raviv said his first word. It was "popcorn."

Greenfield 4 miler!

Today I ran in the Greenfield 4 miler road race! My colleague, his girlfriend and I all ran. It was so much fun and I needed this fun after the past week.

The past week sucked. I've been in a chronic bad mood. I don't know why. On Wed night I went to yoga, hoping it would help me snap out of it, but instead I felt even WORSE on Thursday. Which, in retrospect was a funny day- I had my car scheduled for maintenance. I had arranged to use a loaner while my car was being serviced. Unfortunately, when I got into the loaner the "check engine" light was on and so THAT car had to be serviced first. Then, at the end of my craptastic day I was on the way up to get the car and they called to tell me it would be another hour. I used that time to go up to the stream near my parent's house, which is where I feel very close to my mom. It was just what I needed, because after that visit and 2 hours of TV while home alone I felt much better on Friday.

But I didn't work out on Thursday or Friday, and I had eaten poorly. This morning I woke up feeling hung over (which can happen to me after eating a lot of white bread) and like I had a cold. Raviv had a snotty nose yesterday and a raspy voice so I was worried. BUT, I dragged myself out of bed and got on the road. Last night we had dinner with some people who like to run and it inspired me.

I was a bit nervous about this race for three reasons:
1) It was the first time I would be running in any form of a race in 3 years
2) It was 15 degrees out when I left the house. First time in about 15 years I would be running in such cold temps
3) the last place finisher last year ran the race in about 50 minutes. I've been averaging 10:30-11 minutes/mile during my runs.

The race is small (only about 50-60 people) and I figure because it is cold and a strange distance for a race, those that do run are probably "Real" runners.

I arrived and accidentally parked really far away. But it turned out okay because I was able to jog to the registration which gave me a bit more confidence running outside. The people were really nice, and no one seemed too intimidating. I met up with my friends and we were all excited.

As I was waiting in line for the bathroom I learned that the race was hilly, which didn't worry me, but I was glad to know ahead of time! By the way- I have a really bad habit of assuming people are in the bathroom if the door is closed, and often don't check. Today I thought someone was in the stall, but nope. empty. In "waiting" for the stall to be free a 6 person-deep line formed. Oops.

Anyway, the race was really fun. I finished 40th out of 50+ runners, but ran 9:30 min miles, which was great! The race started on a downhill and everyone was chatty, but as we made the first turn, for a climb of about 1.5 miles people stopped talking. I got passed, but I also passed people. Most of the time I was running on my own. But the course was a loop, and there were lots of people directing us around turns so it wasn't lonely.

I finished strong and felt like I could have kept running! (Not that I wanted to go faster, just farther). I am now re-energized about running. I can see how racing is important for this purpose.

Also- my shoes arrived the day after I placed my order! way to go City Sports! but they were a bit too small. City Sports was awesome in helping track down a pair in the new size, and I should be getting the new ones this week. My colleague did get his and they fit, and he wore them in the race today. He got a lot of attention for them, and he said he really liked them.

I have a blog topic in mind- "Running with Fear" but I will save it for another day.

Amazing day!

Today has been a fun day! (OK, I got nearly nothing done at work but aside from that it was great). First, I'll start with the funny stuff:

1) I saw not one, but TWO cars with boots on them in Amherst. One on my way to work, and one on my way home. I don't know why, but I always get a laugh out of a good booted car. I think this originates from my time at Hampshire when a friend's car was booted.

2) I got the BEST SCAM MAIL EVER! I got a notice from paypal that there was fishy stuff going on with my account. I suspected it was scam mail, so I logged into paypal and called the company. Sure enough there was no fraud, but I found out that I have had $150 sitting there since JUNE 2008 that I never claimed. It must have been from selling a bridesmaids dress after her wedding (funny enough, the friend that got married was also a part of the Hampshire booting incident- though not her car).

I just read the most inspiring book, Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. The book really captures the spirit of long distance running. The book isn't the most well written book I've ever read, but there are several things I really enjoyed about it.

1) The characters. He tells the story of several of the worlds best ultra runners (people who will do 100 miles at a time just for fun). These people LOVE to run and it is really inspiring.

2) He builds a case for why humans are born to run long distances (marathons +). Not only this, but it is because we can do this we are human. Really incredible stuff about the architecture of the human body. I did a quick search and found a summary of his argument here.

3) He also builds a case for why the advent of the modern day running shoe (circa 1970) has ruined running for so many. It is because of the shoe that so many people suffer from running injuries. There is a movement for barefoot running, which I may be joining- once it isn't icy and snowy outside. I'm not sure how to build the muscles in my foot up so that I can run safely (running shoes basically lead to the atrophy the muscles that are critical for running, as they change the bio mechanics of the foot). I am interested in trying these shoes:

but want to try them on first and they don't sell them locally. As for now, I'm just going to continue on schedule with my training in my current shoes.

On Track

So I am still on track with my training! I did a 20 min workout on Wed night after all. It felt a lot easier than it used to, so that was good.

Yesterday I was in a bad mood. I've been having a lot of anxiety lately (which has been motivational for running, actually). There are a lot of things going on in our life right now that have us both stressed out. Plus, I'm dealing with my little baby turning 1! I also had an epiphany that part of my anxiety is probably due to the emotional stuff coming up around my mom's death. Last year, I was a bit pre-occupied giving birth/getting to know my baby to deal with the anniversary of her death and so I think it is coming up for me now. There isn't much to say other than I really miss her and I am so sad that she and Raviv will not have the joy of knowing each other.

Anyway, I got home and I was stressed out, Bil was stressed, and clearly Raviv was stressed in response. He was very clingy to me, and after putting him to bed, he kept waking up screaming. This is very unusual for the little guy. He isn't a big napper, but his bedtime is sacred. I just hope that Bil and I can find more productive outlets for our stress so that Raviv feels safe.

Yesterday was supposed to be a rest day. I had thought that it was supposed to be near 50 today so I decided I would run at work given that we have guests for Shabbat dinner tonight. Well, after a glance at the weather report I realized that it was actually going to be FREEZING today (single digits). Given the bad mood I was in, I decided to run it out yesterday.

I had a good run. But rather than use the run as a meditative time, I watched TV. I watched "Modern Family" which is really funny. I had never seen it and it made me laugh out loud while running. So now today I can rest and have my much needed Shabbat.

Funny Story: Not really something I observed, but so funny I have to share. Yesterday Bil's school smelled like dog poo all afternoon. Apparently someone had been letting their dog crap on the playing fields, the second graders all ran through it and tracked it throughout the school!

Need motivation!

So I am supposed to run two miles or cross train and do strength. But I *REALLY* don't feel like it. I guess I could do a 20 minute Biggest Loser DVD and accomplish both goals, right? Given that this is the official week 1 of my 1/2 marathon training schedule, I think I'm in for a long 12 weeks.

Cemetery by credit?

Funny thing today: Driving by a local cemetery I noticed that the big sign for it has a new addition- apparently they now take MasterCard and visa.

I'll have to get a picture. Not sure how to stop my car and do it on a busy road.

Fat people are inspiring

So last night, according to my half marathon training schedule I was supposed to run three miles. Well I did. And it sucked. Really, the whole time was awful. And then afterwards I was really anxious. A bath helped me relax and I slept well.

Today, I was supposed to run two miles or cross train, but I felt good so I did three miles. I figure tomorrow I'll do the two mile or cross train and the strength training. Maybe one of my Biggest Loser DVDs.

Which brings me to my point of the post. There is nothing like watching fat people work hard that makes me realize that I can do it! Plus it is distracting to be watching TV while running, which I haven't done in a while.

Funny thing: Usually I try to look for things that aren't related to my own child, but not much happened today- except Raviv is now interested in the contents of our freezer. Specifically, he is interested in the frozen breast milk. I think it is funny how he is a man on a mission the second that door opens!

As for yesterday- I overheard that my dads friend's hybrid lost battery power. And the doors wouldn't unlock. But she was in the car. Yes, she got locked into her electric car.

The truth?

So today I went back to hot yoga. It was realllly nice. I was a bit sore from running so frequently over the last week and being in the heat, stretching felt good. I was able to stretch in places I didn't even know I was sore! I went to the "basics" class and thought it felt easier than last time I went. But then I realized the last time I went was in August, so it must be that it wasn't so painful heat-wise.

Tomorrow it is supposed to pour, but be warm so I might go for a run in the rain!

In the past three days I have had intimate discussions with three Friends whose marriages are ending. One has a baby, one has two grown children, and one has no children. It is times like this that I realize blogging is both positive and negative. I would like to write more about how I feel about each of these situations, and what fears and struggles I've had with my own marriage since having a baby, but at the same time I don't want to violate the trust of people I know.

In fact, I started this blog because I had a lot to say after staying with friends for three days about their relationship. I witnessed a lot of funny and several uncomfortable moments that I wanted to write about. But I would only have been able to do so anonymously, and I'm not very good at that.

A bigger question is why blog? For me I enjoy the accountability that comes with documenting my progress towards goals. And I enjoy having somewhere to share my accomplishments with running etc. But really, who cares? I guess that the perfect combination of living in both a voyeuristic and narcissistic culture makes blogging so appealing.

As a side note- I think I'm going to start documenting something funny every day. I tend to see a lot of amusing things in this world (though admittedly, I am easily amused). I think it would be good for me to document these little gems of my day along with all the whining I do here.

Todays amusement (and this took me a minute) But Bil and I were going to the grocery store and walking along the side of the road, in the freezing rain was some woman with the most bizzar stride. She looked like she was supposed to be in a movie the way her posture was so rigid and she had such bounce in her step. Like when a movie shows a crowded street and yet you know exactly who to look at. Plus, she looked a bit like Dorothy Michaels in Tootise. With red boots. We both thought it was the oddest, funniest thing.

Karma is a bitch

So yesterday Bil told me he would pick up Raviv from daycare, which meant I didn't have to rush out of work. It was a sunny day so I packed up my sneakers and running clothes and brought them to the office in case I decided to run.



At lunch, I had a delicious soup from the Black Sheep, but then I couldn't help myself- the strawberry honey bars had been calling for days and I had to try it. So I bought one. The first bite was sensational! SOOOO GOOOD! But in the end, I couldn't even finish the pastry. It just tasted...too sweet! This has never, ever, happened to me. I have always heard people say that if you cut out sweets and sugar in general, you will lose the taste, but I never really believed it. Well, now I do.



About 10 minutes later, I got a really bad headache. Then, I was sooo tired for two hours. I was really surprised how much this dessert effected me.



But, after a meeting at 3, I decided I would go for my run. I figured it might help me to feel better. So I pumped, put on my gear, looked up a run that would be about 30 minutes and off I went.



Now dear reader(s?) you may recall how I am the asshole who didn't shovel her sidewalk. Well, let me tell you, I got mine. About four minutes into my run I fell on a patch of ice on an un-shoveled sidewalk. I hurt my hand that had just finished healing from another fall, and got huge scrapes on my knees. There was blood all over my pants. So I got up and turned around, walking lamely back to the office. But then, I decided to just try running again. And it wasn't too bad, so I re-routed my run and completed my three miles.

Today it is sunny again, so I went out with an ice-chopping shovel and worked on the sidewalk out front. It isn't as good as the rest of the street, but it is a bit safer. I plan to run again today, hopefully my "long" run of 4 miles (12 weeks and 1 day until the half marathon!), even though it is cold. Of course, I forgot to put the laundry (i.e. running gear) in the dryer, so I have a bit of time to procrastinate.

No activity tonight

Ironically, it is partially because I'm in such a bad mood. I was starting to get in a foul mood, went out to dinner with a friend, felt better and then came home. But now it is too late to exercise and I'm feeling bad again. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

Ow.

I walked into my house this evening, and before I knew it I had PLOWED through the kitchen eating everything in my path. Okay, compared to what I USED to eat on a binge, it was minor, but still an overload from how I've been eating recently.

AND I just deleted my long post. Ugh. Long boring story shortened: Despite having a horrible headache/fatigue earlier today (probably from not eating very well at lunch or drinking as much as usual) I ran after eating my kitchen. And I don't even remember making the decision to run! All of the sudden I was on the treadmill doing an interval workout!

Now my treadmill is calling for lube. Really, it lights up and says LUBE. I thought I just did it last week, but I guess I didn't do it correctly.

Oh, and the ow part is that I didn't warm up/cool down properly, or stretch well and now my back hurts. But my headache is gone.

One good thing about a treadmill...

...is that I have access to the Internet. I have discovered that I can listen to Pandora Radio on my iPod! I am getting a bit tired of my running music, so this was a big help tonight. I even got another mile in by doing some "speed" work during the chorus'.

I have to say, I'm feeling good about myself. Today I went to the bookstore and got a book about eating to balance your body's pH levels. I think I might be ready to tackle both eating AND running at the same time!

I'm kind of a jerk...

This morning I woke up to a wet, heavy snow. Bil is at a conference, so it was up to me to shovel. We actually get our driveway(s) plowed, but today it looked like only an inch or so and since the plow hadn't ocme, I decided to just do it. My aunt had stayed over so she played with Raviv when I went outside.

The snow was actually about 2 inches, but it was sunny and warm (above freezing) so it was getting slushy and heavy. The end of the driveway was probably about 6 inches deep because of the plow. Unfortunately I was too far in to stop before I realized how difficult it was. Even after I shoveled, there was a layer of ice/packed slush coating our driveway. By the time I finished our driveway, I needed to leave to get to an appointment (okay, play date) with Raviv. And my aunt needed to go to work. So I left without doing the sidewalk. Meanwhile, when I returned home it had warmed up enough that the ice had melted. A shiny, wet black line cut through everyone's front yards. Except mine. Yup, every single person on our street had taken care of their sidewalk except me.

I had to go to work, and by the time I got home it was dark. But I also have Raviv and I'm alone so I don't really know how to go out there and shovel. Maybe tomorrow I can wake up early, bundle up Raviv, stick him in the stroller and shovel. Of course, now the snow has probably melted down and re-frozen into blocks of ice.

As for running- I've been trying to ignore my sore shins. I've never had significant problems with my shins, so I'm not too worried, but I decided to take it easy today. I really didn't want to run, but promised myself I would. So I decided to do two miles on the treadmill. Once I was on, I of course felt better and kept going a bit. I ended up doing 2.5 miles. It wasn't what I would call fun but I'm glad I did it.

I have seen the scale start to move in the last few weeks, and this has been motivating. I've decided that I would like to be at my pre-pregnancy weight (or at least very close) by Raviv's first birthday. I figure a year is a good amount of time. Of course, I'll probably have to weigh myself first thing in the morning, after nursing completely to make it, but that's okay.

Winter Running

Yesterday I ran outside, in the cold! It was actually about 41 and sunny, which was a break from what feels like constantly dreary, frigid weather lately. This run felt so good! Usually I refuse to run outside unless it is 45 degrees at a MINIMUM and even then it isn't with much enthusiasm. Although I was physically still struggling it felt really good to be outside in the sun. I had good music, and I wasn't encumbered by a diaper bag, baby, work bag etc. Because it was so warm the snow was melting and I kept stepping in puddles, but my feet weren't cold so it was fine. If I am going to train for this half marathon I will need to do long runs on the weekend outdoors, and with several more months of winter it is likely I'll be out on some cold days. This may be an excuse to invest in some good, warm running gear.

Today I was grey and dreary again and about an hour ago a "wintery mix" of snow/rain/sleet started to come down. Bil is out of town for the next three days so although I could have dropped Raviv off with my dad, I didn't have it in me to go for a run. So instead I sat on the couch and read runner's world magazine.

Ironically, instead of inspiring me to go out and log many miles, it made me decide NOT to run tonight! There were repeated articles about not adding mileage until you are fit. Which I'm not. I'm not sure if it is because the issue is on newsstands in January and they worry about people getting overambitious (like training for a half marathon that is May 2 with no "base" to build off of) or if it is genuinely sound advice. I decided for today it was sound advice and so I sat on the couch in front of a nice warm fire while Raviv and my dad played.

Maybe I'll take the lead from Missy and organize something instead. Or maybe I'll just make some tea and sit on the couch and read.

Things I Saw Today That Scared Me

1) A woman with Kate Gosselin's hairstyle (not the new one). On purpose.

2) A woman who was nursing her baby in a restaurant (not scary) had normal looking boobs at first, but when she took one out to nurse the baby, it was like the baby was sucking at her belly button! It was like one was where it was supposed to be, and the other was down around her waist. It was so weird. And the scary part- I'm afraid this will happen to me! I'm not going to post a picture. I tried to find one, but any search with the term "breast" or "boob" for a blog-appropriate pic just isn't useful.

I HATE to cook. And oh yeah, is training for a half marathon overambitious

So I started out the day talking with my co worker who was recently inspired to run a marathon. I too have always harbored dreams of running a marathon. Some day. But maybe that day is soon? I have to say I am getting caught up in the excitement. But I can't fathom training for a marathon on a treadmill, so I think training for a half is a better idea. The race we're thinking of is in May. By then, I could do the long runs on the weekend outside while Bil has Raviv, so maybe I would go for a fall marathon?


This all sounds great in theory, but tonight I got on the treadmill and again, it sucks. There is no way around it. Maybe it will be better when I can run without feeling like I have lead for legs, but I'm not sure I can spend the next 12 weeks logging so many miles on that thing. So for now, while training involves VERY low mileage, I might as well keep going.


So after my long run (long time, not long distance), which I got a late start on as I decided to lube and adjust the belt that has been skewing left (took 30 minutes, and as soon as I got on it went back) I had to cook. Now, I rarely cook. I don't mind making up simple recipes with fresh, healthy food. I like the flavor of *real* food. Recently I made up a really good kale, tofu and miso paste recipe we both like. But Bil loves to cook and he loves to have people over. So given that we are having 10 for dinner tomorrow night, and he has a meeting, he asked me to make the soup. Oh yeah, and if I didn't mind could I make some cookies? He claimed it would
"relax me" and I would have fun doing it. Does this man not know me? I hate the time it takes, the mess, and the waste of my precious time I could be doing something I enjoy.


The soup is a really delicious mushroom barley soup that takes 2.5 hours to prepare. Towards the end we need to make a roux (butter and flour) but we are having chicken for dinner so I need to use margarine. I have such a visceral hatred of margarine. It goes against all I stand for. I'm not sure I am even going to eat the soup. Anyway, the soup is simmering away and it was time to make cookies.


I am a disaster following recipes. I much prefer to make stuff up. Somehow I always mess up a recipe, usually because I'm too impatient. But, chocolate chip cookies it is. So tonight, as I'm trying to soften our crusty brown sugar in the microwave, running eggs under warm water to get them "room temperature" and unwrapping sticks of margarine *shudder* I am getting more and more resentful. Anyway, just as I mix all the ingredients I look at the cookbook and realize I forgot to add the orange Zest. So I find the zester, scrape the rind and think to myself "I didn't realize orange zest is in chocolate chip cookies. Must be because this recipe is being made from scratch?" but as I go look at the recipe, I realize the page has turned and I've started to make a recipe for chocolate orange pecan cookies. Luckily the only real difference was I needed 2 sticks of butter for these cookies, but I'd only put in 1 1/4 sticks (though I thawed two sticks!). I couldn't bear the thought of touching more margarine, so I decided that two cap-fulls of canola oil had to be the same thing (can you see where I get myself into trouble?)


Anyway, I decided that it would be tastier to bake the cookies fresh tomorrow night so the dough is sitting in the fridge, the kitchen is semi clean, and I've still found some time to veg out. The one good thing is that I probably won't eat these cookies given that they are made with margarine and pareve chocolate. I mean really, what's the point?

The home gym or a coat rack?

Here is a picture of my home gym- note the awesome bookcase provided by my friend Susan on which I can set my computer (perfect fit and perfect height) so I can watch episodes of the Office. I put the baby monitor on the shelf below. The treadmill is loud, and with the headphones for my "TV" I wouldn't hear Raviv. The monitor is cool because if noise is detected it lights up red. This way I can just keep an eye out for Raviv.

My biggest challenge is not letting it become the proverbial (okay, literal) clothes rack. Last week I used it twice, but this week I had to travel to Albuquerque for work. I was very excited because the hotel website led me to beleive there would be a great gym and a pool so I packed sneakers, gym clothes, my baithing suit, googles and a swim cap. Unfortuantely, between stepping on the airport at 8 am Sunday morning and stepping off when I returned at 11pm Tuesday night I did nothing but sit. Not by choice mind you. This was one of those meetings where I worked the ENTIRE TIME other than sleeping. (Which by the way, was awesome since I didn't have one ear open for a child in distress!). Other than a group photo I literally did not leave the hotel. I didn't even have dinner on Monday night I was so tired. The conference room didn't even have windows. It was a good meeting, but sucked the life out of me.

Which brings me to tonight where I continue my marathon sitting experience nestled on the couch in my ass-shaped cushion dent watching crappy tv. I cannot bring myself to exercise tonight. I won't even watch my recorded episode(s) of The Biggest Loser since I know I'll feel guilty. If a 500 lb person can work out, shouldn't I be able to at least walk or jog for 20 minutes? Or even engage in some decluttering like Melisa?






In other news, I was expecting Raviv to be very clingy and cuddly today since I was gone for so long (well, it felt that way to me) but apparently he couldn't care less that I was back. Sure he was excited for fresh food but other than that he's been off doing his own thing. Though I've been away from him ebefore, this trip was really hard.






OK, now that I've realized how lame I'm being sitting here writing a boring blog post, I'm going to do something productive before I go to bed (early) tonight. Stay tuned to find out what it is I decide to do...

Blogging take two

My good friend started blogging again this week and has given me a renewed interest in reviving my own blog. Taking a few minutes of the day to reflect on my goals is something I enjoy doing. Melisa has very clear goals for the next twelve months which I find inspiring, but only as long as I sit at my computer reading her blog while I pump so Raviv can have food at daycare. Somehow when I get home I have forgotten all about my own goal to de-clutter and clean.

With the start of the new year and new decade I find people all around me making goals and resolutions for how things will be different this time around. This year, things feel different for me. I am now sleeping through the night, Raviv is getting more independent, and Bil has also decided to make some changes. Given these shifts in my life, I've decided to recommit to running and exercising. Again.

So far so good- I have run the last two nights in my home gym (picture forthcoming). Though I only did two miles each time, it was 30 minutes (with warm up/cool down) of torture. It hurt. It was boring. It was hot. But, those 30 minutes were a small price to how much better I have felt during the other 1,410 minutes of the day. So for roughly 2% of my 24 hours allotted daily, I am uncomfortable but feel good for the other 98% of the time. Seems like a good deal to me!