Thoughtful Shabbat

Tonight we had a lovely dinner with some friends. I invited my friend from work (M) since his weekend plans got cancelled. M is currently deciding what to do with his life. He is very smart, and has too many interests. Ultimately I am sure he is going to be an amazing doctor with a strong commitment to social justice and activism. Right now he's reading a lot of famous writers- Che, Freire, and most recently Paul Farmer (his own work, not Mountains Beyond Mountains) and having his mind blown.

Hampshire was the best experience for me- I was able to spend four years exploring ideas, critical thought, and drawing connections between mind-blowing ideas. In many ways it was a time when I was able to explore my interests as M is now. Learning HOW to do this was very important, as since then I have had enough of a structure that I haven't gotten too lost or overwhelmed. At least not in unmanageable ways.

Speaking with him tonight I realized how long it has been since I've really invested in my own learning from a purely intellectual stance. I have spent a lot of time learning about pregnancy, motherhood, babies, the human body. I have been growing emotionally. I am working, but not with the same single-minded focus I have in the past. It is very hard to do this while being exhausted, or having someone demanding attention at all times. I miss it. I'm not sure how to make more time for thinking, but I need to. I think it ties into my general quest to find more time to exercise etc- I want to keep investing in my spirit, and both intellectual and physical exercise has been important to me.

Now that Bil is back (YAY!) I will start to prioritize finding some more time for myself.